


I'll Try To Be Fearless

by imstupidwithlove



Category: Mean Girls (2004), Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 16:30:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17666078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imstupidwithlove/pseuds/imstupidwithlove
Summary: "Maybe Gretchen Wieners Will Be Okay"Contains a toxic relationship between Gretchen and Regina, brief mentions of the Bus incident, and implied homophobia on Regina's half.





	I'll Try To Be Fearless

**Author's Note:**

> This was sort of a vent piece for me. I just needed to get some feelings out about a toxic relationship.

_ Maybe I can be Fearless _

**TWs include: implied homophobia, toxic relationship, mentions of the bus, mentions of hospitals**

She couldn't speak. The words kept getting stuck in her throat. They couldn't escape no matter how violently they tried to force themselves out. At some points it became painful to not be able to let the words out. It messed with her mind, made her think that if she couldn't speak - then maybe there wasn't anything worth saying.

And that's how she felt around Regina.

But at the same time it was beautiful and invigorating. She tangled through Gretchen's body, she replaced all Gretchen's dark thoughts with soft kisses. Gretchen's heart was covered in vines, grown by the queen bee herself. They protected it like armour. The only person that knew how to get through the thorns was Regina. And Gretchen knew it was a mistake letting her anywhere near something so precious or breakable. But it felt too wonderful to refuse. Sometimes Gretchen was so enamored that all she could do was let Regina be the Queen of her world. She was her Ursula, she took her voice captive and didn't plan on letting it go.

Regina wouldn't stop at her voice. She wouldn't stop until she owned everything about her. Until she owned her mind, her body, her clothes, her every move. Regina already had access to her, but that wasn't anywhere near enough. The work of earning all of that was too hard for someone who didn't lift a finger. She wanted to own Gretchen; so she did.

It had started in Freshman Year when Gretchen first ever lay her eyes on Regina. She was immediately infatuated with the pink queen bee. The way she commanded everyone and immediately had them at her knees. Gretchen would gratefully kneel down on her own will and do anything the girl desired. So when Regina had chosen her, both of the girls knew she already had her claws digging into Gretchen. But Gretchen never wanted the pain to stop.

From that moment on Gretchen would never leave her side, she'd be at her beck and call. She would do anything for that validation she so desperately needed. If it hurt other people it was worth it. It meant Gretchen was safe, and most of all it meant Regina was proud of her. It was an awful, yet wonderful kind of proud. The way the smile played on Regina's lips was sinister and intoxicating. The longer Gretchen stayed, the more it appeared. And the more it appeared, the more addicted she became. She needed it more than anything someone else could give her.

Regina George was what she needed. Gretchen needed her lips on her skin, Regina's hand clutching hers, her smile to be aimed at her. She knew that all of this would only happen when the queen needed something. Gretchen couldn't show any desire for it. Regina would only use it against her without a second thought. Regina may have been a beautiful pink rose, but her thorns would dig deep and wound you. However Gretchen was more than happy to bleed.

But there came a day when the queen herself fell from grace. In a way, Gretchen had seen it coming. She didn't know when it would happen, but it was always foreseeable. The difference is she thought she was the one who would do it. She thought she would be the first to draw her sword. If she could conquer her fears, if she could overcome this addiction. Then maybe everything would be okay. But it wasn't, and she didn't think it would ever be okay again.

Cady Heron had been the fearless one, not Gretchen. Gretchen hadn't been strong enough to do it herself, and maybe that's why Cady did it in the first place. Maybe she just saw weakness in Gretchen and pitied her. Not the same pity as Regina, Cady didn't look down on Gretchen. She simply felt sad for her. And that was different. Maybe that was why she clung to Cady so hard. It was something fresh and new, it made her feel liberated. The Queen was gone and Gretchen could finally be free. She could finally heal her wounds.

However nothing could be that easy. Gretchen never had a say in her freedom. So when Cady became the new Regina. No one was that shocked. It was the way of the world, there always had to be someone on top, someone had to be the pack leader.

Therefore Cady became Gretchen's new drug. Its effects wasn't as powerful as Regina's, but they were definitely there. The insults still stung, and she would still kill for the approval. But she didn't feel the same desire as she did with Regina. Regina still held that key to Gretchen's body. She still had that power.

Gretchen could still feel the after effects of Regina's presence rippling throughout her. She could still feel Regina's hand on her shoulder, guiding her where she needed to go. In one way it was haunting, and terrifying that her grip was still there. And in another way it was comforting and something she craved for.

Seeing Regina laying in the road, froze the world. For a moment Gretchen didn't feel emotion, she didn't feel the ache to please everyone. As Regina lay there, it was almost as if Gretchen's soul left her body. Regina was human. Regina could get hurt. Regina couldn't keep her grip on Gretchen forever.

She didn't even feel herself walking over to Regina. She didn't acknowledge Cady screaming, or Karen's cries. Her only focus was on Regina. But this time Gretchen's world didn't turn exclusively for Regina. It just turned.

Seeing her in the hospital bed never got easier. There was no makeup, no mask, no hiding. Regina was open to the world when she slept, whether she wanted to be or not. Gretchen visiting the hospital in itself was more for herself than Regina or Mrs George - although she was sure Mrs George desperately needed the company. Her visits were on her own terms, and under her own rules, and Regina was either too sleepy or too high to disagree. And that freed her more than anything.

In a way she felt cruel knowing that she was getting power out Regina's situation. But as she finally got the chance to heal she couldn't bring herself to care. She could apologize to other people and make it right. They could fix their problems and heal together. Gretchen could make peace with her demons.

Things would take time, they wouldn't disappear straight away or magically resolve themselves. Her nights would be harder without being able to look forward to, or fear, Regina's touch in the coming morning. She would have to fight her way back to her own heart. Learn what she truly needs and yearns for, rather than what she's been told she wants.

But maybe Gretchen Wieners could be okay.


End file.
